It’s January, and that meets a few different things. New Year’s Resolutions haven’t quite been forgotten yet, all that stuff you got for Christmas is still sitting outside of the box in the closet it’ll be in by March, and the major studios are offering absolute junk for the movie going public’s consumption. January and February historically get the bottom end of the crap that studios realized at the last minute they shouldn’t have made – 22 horror films, cheap children’s flicks, hairbrained Scary Movie producer created comedies. Of course for those of you with any kind of taste at all, please don’t forget all the last minute Oscar drops, those movies put into limited release on Decemeber 29th to get Oscar consideration. Pan’s Labyrinth, Children of Men – extremely good films that you shouldn’t miss.
But as for the rest of us that don’t get the benefit of the few small screens these films show up on, it’s a
long wait for the spring time and the promise of Summer’s Blockbusters. Here’s a quick rundown of the films to look forward to in the coming months:
January 26 – Saraphim Falls. Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan as cowboys in this action thriller set in the time of the civil war. Sounds like a blast to me.
February 16 – Ghost Rider. I know, it’s February and it’s a comic book movie, that’s never a good sign. They tend to dump the dredge bottom ends of comic book movies in February, Daredevil, Electra, The
Punisher, need I say more. But it is Ghost Rider, and it’s got Nicholas Cage. I’ll still hold out hope for a half way decent film
March 2 – Zodiac. Yeah, it’s another serial killer thriller, but it’s from the man who brought us Se7en and Fight Club, so it’s looking mighty strong as another twisted psychological throwdown. We’ll see in march
March 9 – 300. If you haven’t seen the trailer yet for this film go see it now. The latest adaptation of a Frank Miller comic into film, it retells the Battle of Thermopylae in which 300 Spartan warriors fought to the death against the Persian army inspiring all of Greece to rise up and fight. Highly stylized and incredibly cool looking, I’m hoping for something cool here.
March 16 – Sunshine. The newest film from 28 Days Later director Danny Boyle, this time around in space. Science Fiction fare along the lines of Solaris or 2001. The sun is dying and a ship is sent with the last remaining hope for mankind to find a solution. Looks interesting and Boyle hasn’t let me down yet.
March 23 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I’m a child of the 80s, so I remember the Turtles as fond as anything from youth. The return of the Turtles to the big screen, this time without the clunky suits and with CGI. It looks slick, action packed, and darker than the previous ones. And no Vanilla Ice.
March 30 – Blades of Glory. Will Ferrell and Jon Heder as ice skaters at each other’s throats forced to compete together in doubles to return to the sport from which they were banned. Come on. How does that not sound funny
April 13 – Hot Fuzz. It’s in limited release, but will probably expand a week or two later. I’m excited not because it’s a police farce, but because it’s from Simon Pegg the guy behind and starring in Shaun of the Dead, one of my favorite Romantic Zombie Comedies of all time. These guys are comedic geniuses and therefore this will be a great movie.
May 4 – Spiderman 3. And the summer movie season begins. The most anticipated movie of the year hits it all off big in May with Spiderman 3. Tobey Maguire returns to battle Venom and Sandman and his own awkward balance between himself and his superhero identity. Repeat viewings will ensue
May 18 – Shrek the Third. Another trilogy completed two weeks later, Shrek 3 is a long time in coming and promises more of the gross out, fairy tale humor of its predecessors. Mike Meyers touches comedy and its gold. I can’t wait.
May 24 – Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. And another trilogy completed. The second film was long winded and a bit campy, but ended on a cliffhanger and the promise of triplicate action and adventure in the finale.
June 8 – Ocean’s Thirteen. To be truthful I’m not a huge fan of the Ocean’s movie (hey is this another third film in a series…huh), but they’re always good popcorn fun to watch. I’m sure this will be no different.
June 22 – Stardust. One of my favorite author’s most endearing books hits the big screen in Stardust. Neil Gaiman is so ripe for film adaptation I can’t believe this is his first (Neverwhere was on BBC, not the big screen). Starring Robert Deniro and Claire Danes. A brilliant book, and hopefully a brilliant movie.
June 27 – Evan Almighty. The much hyped, much over budget, long awaited sequel to Bruce Almighty starring Steve Carrell as Evan, the jerk who took Bruce’s job in the first film. With Carrell’s trademark dry comedy and the promise of the film’s premise this could easily be one hell of a comedy.
June 29 – Ratatouille. Pixar kind of slipped a little with Cars, and now they’ve taken to producing new films ever 12 months which if I remember correctly preceded Disney’s decline in the 90s, but it’s a Brad Bird film, and for now I have to give Pixar the benefit of the doubt. Here’s hoping for more Pixar gold.
July 4 – Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. The sequel to the mediocre half focused original film. Cool trailer, superheroes, and the ever slick Silver Surfer. We’ll see how it turns out, but for now it looks enticing.
July 4 – Transformers. Two very big movies going at it the weekend of the fourth. This one looks mighty cool indeed. It’s a live action Transformers for the first time ever and its directed by Michael Bay, which normally would put me off of any film, but his eye for blowing the hell out of everything in sight might actually work for the epic battle between Decepticons and Autobots.
July 13 – Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. Film number 5, probably coinciding with the release of the seventh book as well. It’s a getting to the end and the films are getting darker. I haven’t read the books at all, but the films have always been entertaining.
July 27 – The Simpsons Movie. It’s been 18 years since the Simpsons first debuted and they’re finally getting their big screen debut. I can only imagine what Groening has in store for us in this one. I actually can’t imagine what the Simpson family could possibly do that they haven’t already done in over 400 episodes
August 3 – The Bourne Ultimatum. The first two Bourne films were fun, frenetic, gritty spy movies, and here’s hoping for the same in the third. Matt Damon pulls of the spy part surprisingly well.
August 10 – Rush Hour 3. The combination of comedy and high flying action made the first two Rush Hour films amazing successes and after a few years of Chris Tucker asking for way too much money the third film is finally ready for release. I don’t imagine the action can be too overwhelming anymore. Jackie Chan’s starting to get up there, but I expect the same comedic pairing to between the two to carry the film.
By: Anthony Chatfield
About the Author:
I’m a self avowed unemployed writer, working on semi-constant basis to try and overcome the need to go and work a real job. I’ve written more than 200 articles and reviews and am constantly scouring the internet for any and all excuses and methods to make myself less dependent on corporate pay days. Visit my website at TheChatfield.com
